Transcending Trauma

For those of us who have got through life emotionally unscathed by judgement and criticism and retained a sense of self the idea that we require anyone's approval might be completely alien.

However, I suspect the vast majority have been impacted in varying degrees by often well intended remarks or wounded adults opinions.  Whilst we can look back and philosophise about early traumas that shaped and restricted the full range of our behaviour and beliefs, it does not alter the consequences to the child who lacked the resources to navigate the psychological battlefield at the mercy of emotionally stunted adults.

At a time of unparalleled importance in child development those that did not receive nurtured care with encouragement and were not introduced to the wonder and infinite possibilities open to them had their self perception curtailed by the restrictive view of the world the adults around them lived in.

The consequences of not being valued and taught to believe they are unique and deserving can be far reaching.

We may not be fully aware of the wounds we have received, but we are witness to evidence of our self limiting beliefs played out in our self sabotaging behaviour. 

Despite this insight we can believe the early traumas have been dealt with, after all we are adult now and can logically disseminate the past and dispose of it.  In reality emotional wounds cannot be healed with rational thought.  It is necessary to turn towards the source of our emotional turmoil to neutralise with compassion and self love. 

With self reflection we can shed light on the internal strategies and unravel the stories that shape the character we play out in the world in an attempt to discover and free the inner self that yearns to be accepted.

The masks we parade in are held in place by continually running patterns of behaviour carefully carved out over time to protect the vulnerable inner child.  Until we have the courage to delve into the shadows we are unlikely to ignite the alchemy within us to transmute and metamorphise.

Avoidance has been the safest option until the pain of the trauma bleeds into life to such an extent, the toxic inner environment has become too uncomfortable. The earnest search for peace leads undoubtedly to the internal reality that has been modelled by pain and created the outer armour.

While we have been busy avoiding and protecting ourselves from further external pain the source emanates from our internal generator of our story. 

“There is such a thing as emotional rubbish; it is produced in the factories of the mind. It consists of pain  that has long since passed and is no longer useful. It consists of precautions that were important in the past, but that serve no purpose in the present.” – Paulo Coelho

Transcending trauma requires an acceptance that our very foundations have built a house that has underlying issues that cannot be remedied with a cosmetic alteration.

Going back to our foundations, those early beliefs shaped by necessity were the best we could do in our infancy and often can be attributed to our survival.  However, once the trauma has past they do not automatically review and update and continue to run as if we are reliving the childhood trauma triggered by any perceived danger of our highly sensitive antenna.

The journey inwards takes courage to face.  The years of avoidance add further trepidation of the unknown and exponential fear that has gathered and deepened.  The answers and resolution are hidden inside the very trauma that has been isolated and regarded as a 'no go'.

The fear of seeking out the inner trauma can keep us from exploring and discovering the diamond under the dirt.  We require careful and gentle guidance to work with the trauma and shine some light in to those dark voids we have tip toed around.

When we are encouraged and supported to take a look at what is really held inside the shadow we can hold compassion and understanding for ourselves and those parts of us that have been deprived of a voice and isolated in the darkness.

When we are open to working with these parts of us we begin to accept and bring them back into the fold and value the very essence of ourselves that we had put into exile.  It was never the internal parts of us that were to be feared.  It was the painful lessons we were taught about ourselves held in these fearful parts that once unpacked, hold the ability to unify ourselves and neutralise the trauma.

For deep exploration it is essential to seek out an experienced guide to ensure the journey is carefully facilitated and overseen providing a safe space for the transformation to occur.

 “Trauma doesn't disappear when you ignore it.” – Stephanie M. Hutchins

Trauma that was designed to protect us becomes an impediment to our personal growth and holds us back and when neutralised and transformed is the gift of resilient freedom.

karen4@e-motionalsolutions.co.uk

www.e-motionalsolutions.co.uk

07782 381855