Reconnect the harmony and connection in your relationship
Relationship Issues
Relationships are open to challenges and can come under pressure from our hectic 21st century lifestyles.
How we communicate makes the difference between the make or break. We tend to think we are good at listening and understanding, but most relationship issues are based on miscommunication. What we hear is not always what was intended as we run all communication through our own filters created by our own beliefs and values and therefore attach our own meanings.
NLP, EFT & PSYCH-K® can assist in better communication. When you step back from a situation and see it as if it happened to some one else it takes away the negative emotions attached to the situation. This new perception allows you to be more open to seeing the positive intention of the person you are communicating with. When this is established the previous perception may appear to be untrue. To create more harmonious relationships it is important to recognise the beliefs we are running and whether they are helpful. Learning to use tools to promote active listening and understanding can release frustrations and bring a win win situation in any communication. Whether we are in a life partnership or not, we all communicate every day with colleagues, family and friends and how we communicate can make all the difference to how rich and fulfilling these relationships can be.
Couples Tools
Good communication is key to any lasting strong relationship with a partner/spouse and yet we are not taught communication tools in school or college. It is very easy to lose your way in a relationship when either party is not truly hearing or understanding what the other is trying to convey. When you perceive your partner does not have your best interests at heart or is trying to hurt or upset you this can result in a break down of communication and unhelpful patterns based in blame and judgement begin to emerge.
I work with couples to bring about the awareness of unhelpful patterns that result in less than positive outcomes. With awareness comes the ability to choose. I believe that giving couples practical communication tools and strategies allows better understanding and clearer communication. Learning how your partner is interpreting your communication allows you to avoid past patterns that ultimately triggered the same unhelpful reactions. The suspension of past judgement, blame and the resulting resentment brings a more open and warm communication and a safe place to explore new ways of thinking. I share practical tools and give guidance that encourages harmony, compassion and understanding. We all want and deserve to have fulfilling loving relationships.
What can you do?
When relationships get stuck in a rut and repeat the same patterns and disagreements it is not easy to see how to improve the situation.
We are often very good at distributing blame and criticism, but how often do we sit back and ask ourselves what behaviour we have exhibited that contributed to the situation. When disputes keep occurring it is rarely just the responsibility of the other person. By taking a long look at your own behaviour you can begin to see how the disagreements escalate. You cannot change other people, but by changing what you do you could change the reaction you get.
Think of a re-occurring issue that you would like to resolve. Notice that every time it comes up you and your partner follow a similar pattern of response. Neither of you are getting the result you desire. What could you do differently?
What if you could dissipate the disagreement by acknowledging how your partner feels instead of telling them they should not feel that way. How different would your communication be if you said one of the following:
‘I am sorry you feel that way.’
‘It can’t be easy for you in that situation’
‘I can see how you would be annoyed about that’
Most of the time we simply want to be heard and when our complaints are met with defensiveness or criticism it just adds heat to the situation. By showing you understand how your partner could feel that way it opens up communication and encourages trust to find mutually agreeable solutions.
Research illustrates several elements that are present in successful partnerships:
- The ability to avert a disagreement elevating out of control
- Friendship and affection
- The ability to discuss and find middle ground - flexibility
- A sense of being a team standing strong together in the face of outside criticism and judgement
- Acceptance of your partner's imperfections
- Paying attention to the small every day things
- Working together in unity during periods of obscurity
- Being open to influence from your partner
- Supportive of each others dreams
Take the next step!
This is your opportunity to take control of your life, click below to book a consultation or 20 minute introduction.
