Knowing Yourself

You would think it was easy to know yourself.  After all you are the only one who has been on your unique journey.  But who is the real you behind the facade?

Many of us would describe ourselves as our profession, but although, if we are content within our professional role, it will give away clues to some aspects of our passions, does that really encapsulate the very essence of who we are?

There are many labels we attribute to ourselves such as Mother/Father, Daughter/Son and no doubt these relationships can play out aspects of what makes us who we are.

We may be so fragmented and obscured by the numerous labels we have not discovered, lost or buried our real identity all together.  Without foundation we can flit between many alter egos that do not say enough about us to create a true and clear picture.

It can seem intimidating to take on our true persona and be out in the world without our armoury of trusty disguises keeping our vulnerable selves safe.  Often we have built up these diverse faces over many years to assist us in remaining safe in potentially vulnerable situations.

The decision to create different versions of ourselves is unconscious and usually due to some form of trauma.  It does not have to be a full on life threatening experience to shift us away from our authentic selves.  Just a sense of being out of our depth or very uncomfortable will provide the right environment for us to reach for a protective shield to prevent harm by the prevailing threat.

Many of us will have a complex system of personality alias's to keep the most persistent perceived attacks and attempts to penetrate beneath the surface at bay.

The original trauma however big or small may have been received completely out of context and personalised as a judgement of our character.  Rather than appear to be wrong or foolish we present a veneer of a more acceptable character to parade to the outside world. 

As we build these coping strategies it is so easy to completely forget who we really are.  We can parade our identities and effectively move seamlessly as each morphs into the next to cover every social group or occasion.

It truly does highlight just how complex human beings really are.  Designed to survive we will adapt and transform whenever needed.

What is evident is those that exhibit this catalogue of masks are far from comfortable with themselves and often lose sight or divorce themselves of any attributes of their true self.  Apart from the obvious lack of consistency in behaviour and fickle beliefs it can become very confusing for those around us who watch as we appear to be social chameleons to ensure we fit and blend in.

Usually those that unconsciously use these tactics are confused as to which guise, if any, really represents their inner core and purpose.  Flip flopping with no anchor constantly altering opinions can also baffle those who observe.

The energy used to remain beneath the masks hidden so deep that no amount of arrows can penetrate is truly draining and yet the fear of the reveal is so horrifying the facade continues.  The longer the pattern loops the more convinced we are that it is the only option and who we are.

Despite the appearance of effective boundaries this behaviour evolved through a distinct lack of boundaries and a desperate attempt to feel safe. The positive intention at the beginning was to ensure safety and in reality not only has the personality impressionist created more insecurity but they have unwittingly imprisoned themselves in the process.

So how can this behaviour  be unravel?

It starts with learning to accept all of the faults and attributed shame that aided in the birth of these encumbering and unhelpful strategies and recognising the resulting behaviour was an over reaction and triggered by misinformed perceptions.

When we can strip back the layers of miscommunication and faulty conclusions we begin to see past the  disempowering beliefs we adopted.  We have a propensity to take things personally when we have not built a health set of boundaries and react inappropriately through raw triggers and hypervigilance.

By investing in self acceptance and learning to step back before the trigger and evaluate the situation from a more objective view point we give ourselves a chance to come up with new perceptions to consider. 

Just by questioning our 'go to' judgement of a situation we can break the pattern, influence the awareness of choice and make decisions on the meaning and whether we do need to respond at all.

It is far easier to take steps to be yourself when you are willing to accept.  By no longer avoiding the so called imperfections and learning it is possible to embrace those very attributes you thought were to be shunned and hidden you are taking strident steps to know yourself.

Emotional Freedom Technique is just one of the energy modalities that gently and elegantly shifts towards a more loving compassionate view of yourself.

Knowing Yourself is a gift that transforms you into Being Yourself!

Karen Oliver

www.e-motionalsolutions.co.uk

karen4@e-motionalsolutions.co.uk

07782 381855

01932 403780