Often an outburst of emotion can be perceived as a weakness and as children many of us are told 'control yourself' or 'stop being silly.' When our emotions are discounted we take on a judgement that they are wrong or bad.
We have been programmed into hailing the intellect and that logical thinking is the key to success. However, our intellectual learning can be very prescribed and one dimensional when an element of emotion is absent. How can we know what we feel about anything if we filter out our emotions as irrelevant?
Our education system teaches compliance and learning knowledge as if we were an encyclopedia. This method of learning is designed to teach us parrot fashion information that is presumed to be fact and holds very little room for debate. But the world is far more than a bunch of data. It is a living world with many dimensions. It has been shown that we learn best when we are engaged and this requires a level of emotional experience. The more our children are encouraged to interact with opinions and feelings the more we help to develop free thinking adults that are questioning, curious and without fear of getting it wrong.
Since emotions can be considered a nuisance, distraction and stopper, it is hardly surprising we do not find it easy to navigate our emotions and very easily become hijacked by them. We spend so much time suppressing our emotions for fear of actually expressing how we feel until we can not hold back the tide of feelings any longer.
Accepting All Emotions
Very few of us have been taught how to live with our emotions and have learnt to avoid them. There have been specific judgements on perceived negative emotions such as anger and sadness putting further pressure to conceal our feelings. We live in an unrealistic realm of expecting to be content and happy all of the time.
The whole spectrum of emotions are acceptable and require acknowledgement and acceptance. Although we may not want to spend too much time in some emotional states it is important to remember every emotional experience is a biofeedback system. This system provides information about what is happening around us and how and if we need to respond. Without this important element of our humanness it is not possible to make informed decisions.
Emotions have their own frequency and we are constantly checking our environment, body and thoughts for feedback which in turn influence our emotional frequency. I am sure we have all experienced moments where we have walked into a room and felt very uncomfortable and our reaction is to leave. These emotional responses are designed to keep us safe. When we filter them out by suppressing how we feel we are missing one of our vital senses.
Being Present with Your Emotions
Just allowing an emotional state to be present can lead to enlightenment and understanding of ourselves. The best way to allow this to happen is to stop any form of evaluation, analysis or judgement of the state and just be with it. Pure acceptance of our states allow us to navigate, grow and develop.
If there has been some concern about allowing an emotion to be present in your mind and body start by giving yourself a set amount of time and at the end of that time period choose to do some form of physical activity even if it is just going from being seated to standing. If you are able to, go for a short walk outside. Consciously keep your head up your eye line forward and your shoulders down and back. Just by these few steps you can invoke a new emotional state.
With practice, holding space with these emotions becomes a habit and resistance and concern will dissipate. All emotions are transient and it is our interaction that can either hold them in our energy system or allow them to release.
'No matter the feelings, you can transform the energy of your emotions into your power'
Matthew Donnelly
It is important to remember that everything will pass. Resistance to being in an emotional state brings about more perceived fear and judgement that this emotion is bad and overthinking can also lead to believing we as individuals are therefore bad.
Of course there are those of us who have experienced being stuck in emotion which may be a symptom of depression, or alike. These extreme states can be due to unprocessed trauma and the old stuck emotion associated.
Stuck emotion can be seen as a message of extreme discontent with our environment, relationships, career etc. Our tendency is to medicate as it is simply too painful. However, without suitable therapeutic assistance the medication just numbs the feelings and does nothing to resolve the reason the deep emotions were present.
Every emotion is a message and it is important we take note and learn to listen to our emotions that often make their presence known in our bodies. They can arrive as symptoms such as headaches, digestion issues, breathing restrictions amongst others. We require a reconnection to valuing our emotions as a natural gauge of our physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing.
I would like to see a learning environment that encourages not just children's thoughts but their feelings about areas of their activities. A move from desk based learning to incorporate a feeling based hands on education. Teachers that work alongside their students to encourage their exploration of learning and encourage the joy of experimenting and discovery. When children are accepted with their emotions they grow to express themselves more freely without fear of criticism or feeling wrong and retain their ability to be creative and free thinking.
Emotional Motivated Mission
If we take time to think about our own mission, whatever it may be, without some form of emotion it is empty and hollow. The movement in any mission is the emotion, it is the vehicle of motivation that tells us why we are directing ourselves to this outcome.
Once an outcome has been set that has the following elements it is the emotion that will direct and drive us to our destination:
- The outcome has to be positive for you
- Ask yourself 'If I could have this ............. would I want it' If you do not answer with a congruent immediate yes it may not be the right outcome for you now
- Do you have the resources to achieve this?
- If not do you know people who could help?
- Make sure the outcome is specific
- How will you know when you have it? What evidence would you have?
- Is this outcome the right size challenging but doable?
It has been said that an outcome requires a specific deadline date, but anchoring this outcome to an emotion or a combination of emotions it will be supplied with the motivation. By creating a motivating image of your desired self having achieved that outcome full of empowering emotion you are creating an outboard motor on your rowing boat.
- Imagine how you look, sound and feel having achieved this outcome.
- Notice where you feel it in your body
- Notice as you resonate the feeling out into your energy field
- Multiply the intensity of the feeling by 10
- Breathe into this created image and notice how vibrant the empowering emotions feel
- Become aware of how compelling that emotion feels right now!
Harnessing our emotions opens up our ability to grow their power in the flow towards our mission.
We have long misunderstand the power of emotions and hid them from public view.
Now is the time to connect and harness the power of our emotions and develop this essential sense for a more vital and energised life.
Karen Oliver
karen4@e-motionalsolutions.co.uk
07782 381855/01932 40380
